Open relationships: Is one romantic partner enough for you? Is one romantic partner enough for you? Whether the idea of an open relationship makes your pansexual dating sites aroused or appalled, some polyamorists say the monogamous paradigm is an illusion and sharing is the key to deeper intimacy. Whether the idea of an open relationship makes your feel aroused or appalled, some polyamorists say sharing is the key to deeper intimacy.
Andrew Mashiko and his primary partner, pictured, both date other people. Melbourne’s Andrew Mashiko works as a dating and sex coach, primarily helping men to become more successful with women. It’s something you could say Andrew needs to be particularly good at, given he has more than one girlfriend to keep happy. After marrying young “for all the wrong reasons” and feeling unable to express himself, Andrew got divorced and discovered the world of polyamory. Polyamory is defined as a non-monogamous relationship with the knowledge and consent of all partners involved. Andrew Mashiko became poly after his marriage ended.
I felt this whole expectation you will find everything in one person to be a little unrealistic,” Andrew says. The monogamous paradigm is an illusion. We fool ourselves into thinking this is working for us, but for a majority of people in the world, it isn’t. By embracing polyamory, it allowed me to be authentic to myself and to other people, where in my previous life I was almost driven to suicide because I felt like I couldn’t be myself. Now I can experience the most deeply intimate and connected relationships like I had never even imagined. After first entering the world of open relationships, Andrew was at one point dating six people, but his focus gradually narrowed to two women — his current partners.
He lives with his primary girlfriend who he says is “very much a left-brain person” — the opposite of his more “right-brain” lover. Having those two partners creates a lot of balance within myself and my life,” he says. I live with my primary partner and if one of us wants to bring somebody home, we have a spare room either one of us can use with a guest. Take a look at the comments to see what some of our readers thought about open relationships. There aren’t a lot of stats available for polyamory in Australia, but 2014 research appearing in CSIRO Publishing found 1 per cent of 5,323 respondents were in an “open relationship”.
Is a relationship holding you back? There is mounting evidence that shows women are better off unattached. Anecdotally, open relationships in the LGBTI community are more common, and data from the Victorian Aids Council shows 32 per cent of gay men in Melbourne were in open relationships in 2016. Counselling psychotherapist Karen Philip says she often sees couples dealing with the fallout of such an arrangement, usually entered into after experiencing dissatisfaction in the partnership. They believe entering the open relationship world may assist to rectify the issue, or others may have one or both partners desiring to fulfil a fantasy,” Dr Philip said.
She says it is rare a couple can benefit from an open relationship long-term. Sometimes partners feel a burst of adrenaline due to excitement, however it seems after the dust settles and normality returns there are concerns over trust, commitment and satisfaction. We are designed to have a partner as someone to share our life with, confide in, know better than anyone else, to know us and what we want and need, be there with all ups and downs, fears and excitement, good times and bad. When we are asked to share this, the consequence is often disappointing. Vanessa O’Brien, who also goes by Priestess Vanessa, identifies as a pansexual serial polyamorous woman. Vanessa O’Brien is currently dating Mr J and Mr B.
The 39-year-old is currently dating Mr J and Mr B, who is also poly. The first one is in a good spot and now I’m working with the second,” she says. I like to be committed to each partner before moving on to someone else. Vanessa is on the hunt for a woman to complete her relationship status. What I get from my interactions with women is not the same as men, they are both beautiful, both delicious, but not one person can fulfil my needs.